Better later than never - 6 months Gotcha Day Update!

On September 16 it was 6 months since that we walked into the Podolsk Baby Home (Moscow Region) and left carrying our 13 months old son Diego. It was a Sunday, the good-byes were very quick and unfortunately Alla, the care giver who wrote the nice message in Diego's birthday card, was not there for the final good-bye. Alla was the caregiver who brought Diego to us the first days the week when we met him, and we will always be grateful for the little time, attention and kindness she was able to give to our Diego... Without that, he would probably have had even rougher times and be a different person.

(First picture we took of Diego)

If you have been following our journey as parents, you already know that we have had a lot of ups and downs in the process of Diego's adjustment to his new life and our adjustment to parenthood. But in 6 months a lot of things have changed and are still evolving! Just look at the picture comparison below, the picture on the left is from his Certificate of Citizenship (taken at the orphanage) and the one on the right is from his US passport (taken last month). From a scared baby to a mischievous smile!


After many adjustments of the sleeping ritual, we have come up with something that seems to work. Lotion massage, good night moon book, brushing teeth, rocking chair with Mark, kiss goodnight, and craddle on either Mark's or my arms. When he is almost asleep, we put him in the crib and rub his back for a bit. It's just amazing how he totally rest his head on our shoulders, either facing us or facing away, but all his body is in contact with ours.

Diego is still a bit of a fuzzy sleeper and moves and makes noise when he sleeps. We still get the short night terror episodes but now it is VERY seldom so this has improved a LOT! When it happens, we quickly get there to pat his back or cradle him a bit. Putting him down for the nap is now a breeze, and he sleeps from 1.5 hours to 3 hours (when he is going through growth spurt).

Eating is still a work in progress area. We will be working with a feeding therapist probably starting in November, but we have decided to chill a little. We keep giving him a multivitamin in the juice and now we add a protein supplement to his milk and yogurt, so as long as he drinks these things he can continue eating his tiny portions! He continues loving his 1/2 avocado per day and now he is using his fork to eat the big bites of it, instead of having me mash it and feed it to him. I think we are ready to give in and let him learn to feed himself. If that's going to make his eating more consistent and calmer, we are cool with it. Diego has been generally healthy this 6 months and gained about 5 pounds and grew 3 inches, so I guess his body has been getting what it needed! Also, since we are "chilling" and not pressuring him to eat, the aggressions (hitting or biting) have pretty much disappeared! Yeah!

When Diego came home we realized that he was quite in shock. He was sleeping horribly and was crying or looked very sad. So, we decided to keep his life very simple and for 3 months he pretty much only left the house to go to doctor appointments or walk around the block with us. We also limited the visits of friends and family a lot, hoping that this would help him get used to us first and feel more comfortable with his new environment. By July I was having a HUGE cabin fever and with Mark we decided it was time to "venture" to the library for toddler's time, to the mall to the little indoor playground, and to couple of parks (one with the water feature and other with a lake and ducks). This allowed him to start seeing and interacting a bit with toddlers and also see more adults around, but also learning that he "stays" with mama or dada. I was freaking out he would start "mommy shopping", but I am glad to say that even tough at the library he would leave my lap and crawl or walk around, he never reached for any adult and always came back to me. It even looked sometimes that when other mothers would smile at him and try to touch his hand or reach him, he would get scared and come to me quicker!

Now, after more than 6 months at home, we have our routine of going to the park 3 mornings during the week and during weekends, two mornings we go to the toddler times at two different libraries, and the afternoons we chill at home or go to the mall couple of times per week. We can say now that he looks more comfortable at these places, looks carefully at people, but seems happy in our arms or walking holding our hands (our stroller has hardly been used!).

So, do we think Diego is getting attached to us? YES! His eye contact has improved (even though we still have to work on it more), he has started to kiss or hug us without expecting anything in return (sometimes he kisses us when he wants us to open the patio door or turn the TV), and in general Diego looks WAY happier than how he looked 6 months ago! His new thing is the "body wrap", when right after taking his bath he hugs us (Mark first and then me) with his naked body wrapping his arms and legs very tightly to our bodies! I think is the cutest and sweetest sign of love he gives us right now! What helped us with the attachment? Being on the floor ALL THE TIME to be at his eye level, matching his actions (if he was clapping I would imitate him and do the same), being the only caregiver along with Mark, using the Ergo instead of stroller (to promote body contact), rubbing his cheeks, hands and feet whenever he was on my lap, praising BIG TIME him for any little or big thing he does, and being there EVERYTIME he called us (either day or night!).

I started this post almost 2 weeks ago, and then I got distracted by other things... But before this month ends I wanted to finish this post and share with you how things are with our sweet boy. During these months a lot of blogger friends provided support and suggestions and I am grateful for that! Life is good and I hope you can see that in the next pictures!